Wednesday, March 23, 2011


The other night as I was writing posts for the blog I realized that I was privy to quite the conversation. Since I don't have internet at my luxury apartment I use the free wifi at the coffee shop to update my blog.

So there I sat, with my chamomile tea and lemon shortbread cookie, when bits of conversation from the table next to mine, floated my way. I looked up to see a man and a woman seated next to me. Ah-hah. This was a first date! I recognized the tone of the conversation immediately. Fascinating! I couldn't wait to hear how this turned out! (My eavesdropping may account for all the typos in the last few posts.)

The first thing I heard, and was quick enough to transcribe, is this:
Man: "I got to meet the top entomologist here at UAF and I knew more about the insect population around here than him!"

Lucky for him his date seemed equally enthralled. Score one for him, and points for her for showing appropriate interest. They were off to a good start!

Next tidbit:
Woman: "He died in 1910 so technically he wouldn't be 'renaissance'."
Man: "Yeah, just like the hippie movement. By the time the hippies were around, they were just posers!"

Good, good -- common ground for them to bond over.

Several minutes later we get background information:
Man: "I was an original punk back in '83." And this is in Fairbanks, okay. We had about 100 of us. We had our own thing going on. It was a very special time for me."

It was at this point that I almost spit tea across the man's back from laughing so hard. Several times I had to bury my head in my book bag pretending to search for something while stifling laughter.

Man continued his thoughts on the capitalistic down fall of music:
"And I hated Nirvana for years because they represented the...[I couldn't type fast enough to catch all of this]... it turned from a movement about ideas to a money-making machine!"

The woman seemed to agree. So far, so good! Now they know they can fight THE MAN together. It's good to have shared goals.

After a time the conversation turned to health care:
Man: "My dream is to move to Sweden but I need to come up with marketable skills first"  [I guess the insect population in Sweden doesn't need him] "People tell me I look Swedish".

The woman then stated that she would pay 3/4 of her salary in taxes if it meant she could get new eyeglasses. It was at this point that I HAD to get a better look at these people. From my vantage point I could only see the back of the man and the top of the woman's head. I took my empty mug and plate to the counter. While walking back to my seat I took a good look. I really can't say if this man would be mistaken for a Swede. How would anyone be able to see his facial features underneath all the hair? He had a full mountain man beard and hair that didn't look like it had been cut in 5 years. I'm guessing he has lived in a dry cabin since his punk days in '83 and doesn't avail himself of the showers at the laundry mat. As for the woman, I can tell you this: her money would be better spent on dental care, not eyeglasses! She had an extraordinary frontal lisp that no amount of speech therapy would help. It was an orthodontia issue plain and simple. 

But, they both seemed keen on the idea of moving to Sweden so this was boding well for their future.

Random dialog:
Woman: "...until I learned there was a werewolf infestation here."
Man: "Wait. You really believe they exist?"

Man down! Man down! What had the woman done?!? Everything was going along so nicely! They were talking and bonding and laughing. And then she brought up werewolves? That's fourth date material, for sure! Not, first date! I feared the worst.

Fortunately, the woman did not believe in werewolves. Her comment had something to do with the local meth community and something else I didn't catch. I thought that was the end of their date right then and there! Once it was made clear that she did not in fact, believe in werewolfs, they were back on track with their plans to move to Sweden. Close call, that one! Oh my heart.

Later, when discussing family of origin issues:
Man: "It's not so much that I'm into chaos as chaos is into me."

This was said when comparing himself to his sister who is evidently quite predictable. I took this to mean she has a job. I couldn't see the woman to know how she took this. But I didn't hear any aural complaints so either she didn't realize he was saying that he was unemployed, or she didn't care. Good for her -- let her believe that their love will triumph over all obstacles!

After more sharing about things such as, she has never had a driver's license and never will, there were parting words:
Man: "I was going to invite you back to my pigsty for hot pockets..."
Woman: "That would have freaked me out."
Man: "Oh right. Too soon, sorry."

Rookie move, dude. Rookie move.

Alas, they exited the coffee shop, walking into the brisk night air.  Was there a good night kiss at the car? A hug or merely a handshake? We will never know. I fell out of my chair while straining to spy on them out the window.

1 comment:

  1. Hot pockets...too good! I love this conversation...what a gift from Little Baby Jesus. I knew a guy in college who had a whole plan to start up a conversation with a girl he had been afraid to talk to all year by offering her a fig newton.