Tuesday, May 3, 2016


Have you ever wondered what it might feel like to smoke an entire pack of cigarettes at once? I had not wondered that, ever. I found out though when I took a swig from a coffee cup thinking it was my left over morning coffee and it was someone's spit cup. 

As in chew. Dip. Snuff. Chewin' tobaccy. I wasn't grossed out by the fact that I drank and swallowed someone's spit. At least it had belonged to someone I know. Does that make it better? I'm not sure. 

My throat burned and I was certain I had instantly contracted laryngeal cancer from the carcinogens in the used dip. My future passed before me -- I didn't want to burp speak through a stoma in my throat! No, no, no, no, no!